To The First Woman I Ever Loved
by ContemplatingUnderland
Summary: Inuyasha writes a letter to his mother on a clear, spring day. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of the Inuyasha universe.

**To My Dearest Mother, Izayoi **

How are you feeling today, Oka-san? It's early summer now, so sky is clear blue, with hardly any clouds in sight. The birds can fly as high as they want, doing whatever it is they do on nice days like these.

Remember how we used to sit on the veranda when the weather was nice, dreaming up those stupid stories about the birds picnicking? You said they needed to set it up in their nests, since the babies were too weak to fly on their own, and the parents brought back all types of worms and junk to feed them while they watched the clouds roll by.

Haha, that sounds so ridiculous now that I'm older. Still, whenever I see a robin take off out of the canopy, I think of you.

It's been a long time since I last visited, hasn't it Ka-san? It has to have been a few weeks, at least. I know you're just happy I came, but I'll apologize, anyway. The gang and I travelled pretty far outside of Kaede's village this time around, and we didn't find one jewel shard! Kagome forced us to stop to rid an old man and his granddaughter from the demons plaguing their farm, and saving humans takes up a lot of time better spent searching. Did that sound cruel? I've become a little hard-hearted since you died, but I'm trying to change. I won't burden you with silly stories of hardships, because I don't want you to worry about me. I'm not in pain anymore, not since I found the others.

I've told you all about them, haven't I?

Well, there's the old hag Kaede—she's a grounded person, for an old-timer. She's a priestess, too, and keeps the whole village together like some sort of matriarch. She even gives us food and a place to sleep when we aren't on the road, taking time out of her long day to heal our wounds. I mean, she can be really annoying sometimes, always treating me like a kid even though I'm way older than her. I never had a grandmother before, so I don't know what to compare her to, but I'm pretty sure old Kaede's adopted me as her grandson by this point.

After her, there's Shippo, the little twerp that he is. You can call him the runt of the litter, since he's nothing more than fur and a big mouth. All he does is play tricks and get under my skin; just thinking about him makes me want to pull his cheeks into taffy. Everyone spoils him, yelling at me because he's just a kid, but I swear, he's a definitely a demon.

A pathetic demon, though, so I end up having to teach him a few things—his old man died, and I'm basically the closest thing to a role model he has. It's a lot more responsibility than just keeping myself fed, but sometimes, _sometimes, _it's almost worth it to see him look so proud of himself. His only good point is that he's a quick learner, and I guess that his heart's in the right place.

Miroku's a great friend, it turns out, despite being too hands-on for his own good. It's amazing how much confidence there is in a man with a timer on his life. You had me to take care of, and after you became sick…I was all you cared about, wasn't I? The monk has something like that with the demon slayer; I think they're good for each other. Everyone says I'm slow to love, and maybe I just don't pay enough attention when it's about me, but the energy between those two is so obvious. It'd be rude to pretend Miroku and Sango won't be getting married once they kill Naraku and have a huge family.

They lot of them will probably hunt demons as a bonding experience.

Then there's Kagome. Higurashi Kagome. She's definitely something, a real spitfire. I couldn't explain in one breath all of her, except that she has a sage's temper with everyone but me. I can usually tell when she's angry, too, because her face scrunches up just before she says _those words. _Sometimes she smiles when she does it, which is downright haunting. I'm shivering just thinking about it.

Kagome also runs around in these short clothes, and the other day I thought that she would look better in a kimono, like a proper of these days, I think I'll work for some money and buy her some high-end clothing, for special occasions. She can probably wear it to one of her "exams." Maybe then, when all the guys in her world try to make passes at her, they'll know who she belongs to. Ha, she hates it when I say she's mine out loud.

One day soon, she'll be proud to carry my name.

Oka-san, I think I've finally found a place where I belong. It's taken so many years, and I've lost my faith in everything outside of just me. After being chased off, attacked, betrayed and let down became expected, , depending on others felt impossible. Hells, It was impossible. All I had to hope for was to carve out my own place in the world and finally mean something. But now, when I come here and talk to you, and my heart doesn't feel as heavy. As cheesy as it sounds, I finally have a better idea of who I am besides a half-breed.

I can be helpful—me being present makes a difference in a situation. In battles, I fight until I win because I have people to protect. Other demons know my name, not as Inu no Taisho's bastard boy, but as a force to be reckoned with. I've earned _respect_, Ka-san, and not by fear or mercilessness, but through my own strength.

I'm _strong, _now.

Isn't that just the most amazing thing you've ever heard? As I am, I can help entire villages feed themselves, and I don't need their approval. I can take whatever malice they have for me, because I can be more than names. I have people who expect me to be more, people very important to me.

Oka-san, would it be too early to say…that just maybe I have a family? I could bring them here to meet you; the thought crossed my mind a few times. Actually, something holds me back, as if I need to keep something to myself. I deserve some time for the two of us to just talk. They'll understand if they knew.

Flowers are growing around your gravestone, can you see that much? If you can, I'm going to smile up at you from the very spot until I convince not to worry about me. I'm doing alright.

With much love,

Yasha

**This has been in my head for a while, so I thought I'd just type it out. **


End file.
